The veil between heaven & earth gets pretty thin when a person is connected to their source. I learned this life lesson the hard way, and yet, ... I am so thankful and grateful for it all.
Be it times of great grief, joy or even madness, seeing the sacred in everyday life can feel surreal. Once that veil is lifted (if only for a moment) , we are never the transformed, and it becomes incomprehensible to act in the same way as before.
For as long as I can remember, health challenges had ruled my world, and I had so much denial.I had three babies, and my middle one died. .... I got brutally angry at God, and said "fuck why?" I kept my head in the sand and as a way of acting out, I became as rebellious as a child.
You would think that gestational diabetes, and grand mal seizures would get me attention (as they are part of my story too,) and yet I walked around blindly in life most of the time.
My idea of God was childlike, and I had no coping tools. My conversations with God, looked more like foxhole prayers. I was feeling so v
The day came when I got very , very, sick. I spent the next ten years in fox hole prayer. I was living a personal hell the day buckets of blood erupted out of every end of me. All my sorrows and sadness remained trapped inside me. I was a shell of a person riddled with vulnerability, feeling frightened and ashamed.....
I got to experience the gentler sweeter side of life when people who have lived within reach of the veil came to be my side. They nurtured me back to sanity and health, and that my friends is worth more then any amount of wealth you can imagine.
They taught me importance of practicing self care and compassion. I learn how to pay if forward in the same fashion.....and practice this spirit to the best of my ab ability each and every day...
I AM 2 years post surgery, stable and living a full life. I am free to love and live a very full and grateful life.
I learned the true meaning of acceptance and of unconditional love, and know in my heart of hearts that I am never truly alone....